The Leaving

I want to leave.

Pack a bag with only the barest of needs,

The freeware essential for survival,

Fill my car with gas,

And head in one direction,

Far, far, far away from here.

Away from this so-called home,

Where my heart shattered,

Where my mind fractured into countless shards.

Away from the toxic dysfunction

That clings to the walls like damp mold.

Away from the strange comfort

Of being so profoundly alone.

This place where I currently stand,

It no longer holds.

No matter how many boundaries I set,

How many times I try to reinforce them,

It all collapses,

over and over again.

So, I’ll take my bag,

Slide into the driver’s seat,

And press the pedal down

Until the miles dissolve behind me.

I’ll drive and drive

Until the road runs out,

Until my car surrenders

To the edge of the unknown.

When I arrive,

Wherever that may be,

I will dig.

I will carve a labyrinth into the earth,

A sanctuary so deep,

So twisted and hidden,

That no one can find me.

And there,

I will sequester myself,

Silence the noise,

And perhaps… just perhaps,

Find a new place

Where safety grows like roots

And broken things

Can begin to mend.